In 1984, mum, aged 40, ran the London Marathon. It was such a massive highlight of her life and she was proud as punch to have done it. Below, in the photo, you can see her with my dad, Sam, his brother Bill and best friend Damon. She went to the hairdressers that morning and sorted the name labels so that the crowd could push them along.

I hadn't planned on going in to visit mum today in the care home, but, as soon as I heard the theme music on the Marathon tele coverage, I couldn't resist. It felt more important to go today than Christmas or Easter somehow. So I dug out the t-shirt that was given to finishers 40 years ago and headed down there with some 0% wine.

​She looked frail, tired and red around the eyes when I got there. As soon as I told her story to her wonderful carers, one of them, Luliana, flicked off whatever dreary was on the tele in the common room and found BBC Iplayer marathon coverage.  Hearing the music, Mum walked towards the massive screen, her arms in the air, tears rolling down her cheeks. She was so thrilled.......and furious with those who'd nodded off after lunch!

Mum's mara inspired me to do the same, and I too completed it in 2010. The best day of my life! A wonderful emotional rollercoaster that I felt so comfortable doing I wanted to go round again! So important to acknowledge that running is more than just a race day. Just like life, it's about pushing yourself, constantly moving forward, setting targets, dealing with injuries, joining communities and rising to each and every challenge. The highs, the lows, never staying still- taking it all in our stride. Without the crowd, the encouragement, it would be so much harder. It's so important for us to buzz each other up, in every aspect of our life.  Stuff the chitter chatter, meet for pow wows with buddies- help them to feel pumped and proud- we are the spring boards for our loved ones.

I've signed up to walk 26 miles on Saturday 11th May in order to raise money for the Alzheimer's Society.

Do follow my journey by joining the newsletter and help me to help others get further understanding of and support with this cruel disability.

Once I've hit the £300 target on this fundraising page, you can continue to donate should you wish via my Crowd Funding page where your funds will go towards financing a dementia friendly concert at mum's care home in Woodchurch on 3rd May.

Much love, and thanks! Clara

This time last year I was at the hairdressers in floods of tears. I'd been overhearing ladies to my left and right talking about their Mother's Day plans. Off they were going to the pub for a roast, hanging out with the mums and grandparents blah blah blah.

I felt so alone and so sad and so envious of their normal. My mum- in complete and painful contrast- was kicking off and escaping out of her care home and we just didn't know how to handle any of it. 

This year was different. I had learnt more about dementia. I now know her limitations and can pinpoint her triggers. As time has passed and the storm has eased, I have learnt to accept our situation and search for ways to make the best of it.

So, having dressed, soothed and sorted mum, I took her up to meet my husband Ben at the coffee shop in the village- her favourite place on earth- mostly thanks to the gorgeous staff who work there. They give her such a warm welcome and make her feel special with a glass of bubbles- 98% elderflower with a smidge of prosecco on the surface for important real-deal-feels.

We laugh, distract and go with her flow. Then before it gets too much, we go 'back to hers' where we pump Handel's Messiah through a portable speaker at full blast. She'd sung this during her time with. Barts Choir many moons ago and I'd come across the music manuscript amongst a pile of gubbins earlier in the week. Mum, in huge happy tears singing and performing her heart out.

Mothers Day this year was short, simple and stressful but oh so sweet and powerful. No pub, no crowds, no real conversation.  Just a supersonic nugget of joy that I won't forget.

I've signed up to walk 26 miles on 11th May in order to fundraise for the Alzheimer's Society. Hope to see some of you there!  Further info & fundraising page.

I'm recognising lots of these late stage dementia changes in mum- particularly her disorientation and distress. There have been several incidents recently in her care home where she is flagged as agitated, unhappy, refusing personal care, wandering a lot and looking for a way out.
​
All so brutal on our hearts but we had a very happy hour together yesterday when I took her out to the village cafe. We have a ritual there whereby the very lovely and understanding staff give us lunch plus flutes of fizz-hers with elderflower/ mine the real deal! We cheers and laugh and take the mickey out of everything.  These are the moments I treasure. The rest I can do very little about. I can't stop the dementia tide from dragging her down. Hold on to the good stuff. 

Mum and I feature is this month's issue of The Wealden Times- p.96.
Chuffed to bits to see my article in print. 

25th Feb: A lovely friend Laura and I met yesterday eve. We're on the same page on so many things. She's got a brilliant sense of humour and we totally buzz off each other whilst empathising on so many levels. Her mum too has had dementia for many years and Laura has an incredibly brilliant and brave approach to everything she does. She taught me about seeking out the nuggets of joy, or light in the dark as she describes it, when it comes to dealing with the trauma and tragedy of our mum's dementia. We've decided to join forces and produce some insightful and upbeat content that we hope will support and encourage a positive approach to those affected by their loved ones' dementia.
Updates to follow on when the first podcast is ready for download! 

21st Feb: I did my first presentation to residents' family members at Woodchurch House Care Home. There were only a handful of us but it felt powerful and meaningful to deliver the information and for us to share our stories. There's nothing like being out at sea and finding a life raft in the form of  others' who share the same feelings and experiences. A new community can now be built from this and I much look forward to rolling out the Dementia Experience presentations further afield and amplifying our support network.